Greetings from Corporate America

mood: sedentary
music: Carbon Leaf
random word: slapdash

---

Hey everyone! Dan Kelley here, with the traditional review of day one in Corporate America. I figure I'll just run through the day, scoring the events that occurred with a plus or a minus and then give an overall grade for the day at the end.

Getting up at 6:55: -
Traffic getting into Hartford making me late: -
Hartford: -
Getting to the office and having someone come down right as I walked in so I didn't have to stand around waiting: +
Finding out they actually had all the paperwork together: + (a rarity in this category)
Getting an access card within my first hour: +
Not having a charged working access card all day: -
Getting a desk (a full desk, with drawers and everything) assigned to me on day one: ++
Getting to said desk to find it covered with the last occupant's crap, including a second computer, a second telephone and a literal mountain of old papers: ---
Having a working account to log onto my computer with: +
Not having working email: -
Not having working voicemail (and no, i can't set it up myself...there's a whole department to do that for you, even though a person could do it on his own in under 5 minutes): -- (extra demerit because i'm annoyed i can't do it myself when i know how)
Not having access to the drives I need to do work: -
Getting assigned busy work and making binders full of health care information all day: -
Tackling said busy project in a way that would make Budzyna proud, complete with colors, fonts, colored paper, alphabetical organization and a dash of Aquarian style: ++

Based on a time-honored system of demerit/credit weighing mixed in with a healthy dose of personal bias I give day one at United Healthcare a....C+

Definitely an improvement from last year's straightup "F"

I'm foreseeing a much more enjoyable summer with UHC because I've decided to unleash Dan Kelley in full force upon the corporate world: no standard fonts, lots of fun colors, if i wear dress shoes, they come off as soon as I get in the building and it's socks only or I just go sandals, everywhere I go I will be singing, etc...(every single one of those items listed is actually against the rules, so while I'm no major rebel, I am, in my own way, damning the man!)

plus, I supposedly get to work with actual policy this summer, so every chance I get I will be gently nudging this cold-hearted capitalist money-grubbing company in the direction of liberal love and...dare I say...socialism!!!

alright, time to go finish up the binders
wheeeee

love and hugs

ps. I need something other than the corporate logo as my desktop background, but I can't think of anything cool - suggestions??